Suggestions for when supporting siblings of children admitted to PICU

It is understandable that having a child admitted to PICU can feel challenging and stressful for families.

In order to help you to support siblings of children admitted onto PICU, the following ideas and suggestions could be useful to consider:

Depending on the age of the sibling, they are likely to be curious about why their brother or sister is on PICU. We would encourage family members to agree amongst themselves regarding how they want to tell the sibling about the PICU admission. For example, parents could discuss how they want to tell the siblings. Some parents value support from extended family members in supporting siblings of PICU children, in terms of helping to help them to understand where their brother or sister is.

It can be helpful to explain the admission in an age appropriate way depending on how old the child is. Some parents/ family members find it helpful to speak with a member of the PICU Family Support Team about how to approach these conversations and in planning for siblings visits.

Sometimes siblings may worry that they are to blame, and may also feel left out and anxious. If this is the case, we would encourage you and other family members to encourage the sibling to talk as much as they need to, and to remind them that they are not to blame. Support them in feeling connected with their sibling, such as through encouraging them to draw a picture, record a story or song that parents can play to the child on PICU, or to bring in a toy or other item that connects them.

Explaining the situation to them can help this, even if it means the sibling gets upset, which is a normal experience.

Some siblings might overhear parts of conversations and pick up on your stress. Answer questions as honestly as possible. If you don’t know the answer it’s ok to say so and say “let’s ask someone who might know”

Encourage your children to talk about their feelings and you may notice they are showing how they feel through their behaviour

Involve the school/playgroup etc so they are aware of what is happening. They could offer a person to be around if your child needs to talk to someone.

Stick to usual routines as much as possible

• Stick to existing rules – children will feel safer when they know the normal boundaries are still in place
• Where possible keep to siblings’ usual activities such as out-of-school clubs, time with friends etc
• It’s ok to have fun – it will help to relieve stress and recharge everybody’s batteries Make time for siblings
• Try to have some quality one-to-one time with your child’s sibling(s) This can be a brief, inexpensive activity: read a story draw a picture together, put together a playlist of music…
• Give your child age-appropriate choices so he/she feels he/she has some control over what happens

Ways to help your child with difficult feelings and behaviours

Regression

Many children return to doing what they did when they were younger: sucking thumb, being very clingy, wetting themselves. Reassure your child, give lots of comfort and then, as time goes on, start to encourage him/her to do more things for him/herself, praise appropriate independent behaviour that you notice

Fears and worries

• Try to establish some regular daily routine, particularly around bedtime
• Make sure either you or someone who is looking after the sibling/s tells your child the plan for the day so he/she knows what to expect
• Reassure your child that he/she did nothing wrong to cause his/her sibling’s illness
• The PICU Family Support Team are happy to discuss any of these matters further with you. .

Contacts/Further information

During your child’s admission to PICU, you will meet the PICU Family Support Team. Should you want to speak with them before they have met you, please do not hesitate to ask any member of the PICU team.