Supporting a friend with their mental health

How to help

It may be distressing hearing about what a friend is experiencing but staying calm and realising that simply being there and listening to them may be making a world of difference is really important.

• Listen, allowing them to set the pace of the conversation.
• Encourage them to share as much as they are comfortable with (if you feel comfortable with this too).
• Reassure them that you’re there to support them.
• Offer what help you can; signpost information, people they can turn to eg school counsellors, talking to parents or an appropriate adult.

Tips for helping a friend

1. Be calm - Being calm will avoid making your friend feel like they’re scaring you or are being a burden
2. Be patient - Allowing them to set the pace of the conversation will help them feel safer and more comfortable
3. Seek help - If anyone you know is being a danger to themself or others then call for help immediately

Your limits

Although you may feel some responsibility for your friend's safety and wellbeing, it is important to remember that not everything will be in your control.

• Take time to checkup on yourself.
• Don't try to diagnose or provide medication for them.
• Don’t force them to talk if they are not comfortable.

Taking care of yourself

It is always important to make time to look after yourself but it is especially important when you are helping someone else.

• Talk to others about what’s going on if your friend is ok with that; if they aren’t, then still try talk about how you are feeling.
• Set boundaries with the person you’re helping if necessary.
• Look after your physical health – get enough sleep and try to eat healthy balanced meals.
• Set aside time to focus on and care for yourself.

What is an emergency?

• They need immediate medical attention eg due to self harm or suicide attempts.
• They have suicidal thoughts which they may act upon.
• They are putting themselves or someone around them at risk of harm.

If any of the above applies or if there is any other situation which you feel needs immediate help then please call 999 and ask for an ambulance. If you feel they are in danger, but not imminently, you can call 111, Samaritans (116 123) and/or speak to a trusted adult.

See more on the Keep Your Head website (opens in a new tab).