Lactation and Loss

Breast care after your baby has passed away

This is a time of great sadness, and you will be feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. However, caring for your breasts is still important. We recommend that you talk with the healthcare professionals around you as well as any family/friends available. You do not need to make any decisions right away, and we encourage you to choose what is best for you. We hope this leaflet will provide you with some important information regarding breast care/the production of milk and the options available to you.

What should I do?

You may want to consider these options:

1: Milk memory making

Expressed milk/colostrum can be made into keepsakes like a bead, candle or jewellery – there are many companies that offer this service for a fee if this is something you would like to consider.

2: To donate your milk

Some families find comfort in donating their milk and do it in memory of their baby. You can donate any milk that you have already stored at home or in the hospital or you can choose to carry on pumping. You may feel that you can´t decide what to do now, but the idea of stopping expressing milk is too painful. You can continue for as long as you want. Becoming a milk donor involves a screening process and there are some exclusions to being able to donate milk, such as smoking and taking certain medications. If you would like to donate your milk, speak to a health care professional or email Addenbrooke's Milk Bank.

3: To stop your supply

You can stop your milk production by reducing the removal of milk from your breasts, either by hand expressing or with a breast pump. It is recommended to slowly decrease the frequency and duration of your expressing sessions rather than stopping abruptly. This will lower the chances of developing painful breasts, engorgement or mastitis. We would suggest the following, but you can be responsive to your breasts and alter timings to keep yourself comfortable. This process can take a couple of weeks.

• Day 1 Pump each breast for 5 minutes every 4-5 hours
• Day 2 Pump each breast for 3-5 minutes every 6 hours
• Day 3 Pump each breast just long enough to relieve discomfort

Engorgement is when the breasts become swollen, firm and painful. Your breasts can leak milk and feel uncomfortable for up to 7 to 14 days. This can settle on its own. If severely engorged, your breasts can become hard, shiny, warm and slightly lumpy to touch. Breast engorgement actually helps to suppress the production of breast milk. However, painful breast engorgement is not necessary and can be avoided.

Mastitis is inflammation of the breast, which, if left untreated, can develop into a more serious infection. You may have a red, hard lumpy area that feels warm and painful to touch, and feel flu-like symptoms (chills, temperature above 37.5C, tiredness, body aches). In a case of a possible mastitis, contact your GP or healthcare provider for advice or call 111.

Further information can be found here: Mastitis - NHS (opens in a new tab)

Further information

• Express milk only to keep yourself comfortable
• Sleep on your back, or if you sleep on your side pillows may be used to support your breasts.
• Use a cold compress/towel or gel packs for 15 to 20 minutes to help keep you comfortable.
• When showering, turn your back to the shower head, to avoid hot water on your breasts.
• Pain relief can help with the discomfort but contact your healthcare team if you experience any symptoms of a fever.
• Wear a well supporting non-wired bra.

For further support please contact:

• Sands | Saving babies' lives. Supporting bereaved families. (opens in a new tab)
• Petals, The baby loss counselling charity - Petals Charity (opens in a new tab)
• Bereavement support for you and your family | Bliss (opens in a new tab)
• Child Bereavement UK (opens in a new tab)
• Childhood Bereavement Network (opens in a new tab)
• National Breastfeeding Helpline – Helpline (opens in a new tab)